Leander Club, Henley on Thames
One morning, not too long past, and we were very cold and sad. We made our way from Leander car park, across the bridge and gathered outside St Mary’s Church to say goodbye to a very dear friend. We have known the family for some years now, but obviously, as it became clear, not as well as we had supposed. There were two distinct groups outside the church, the family of the deceased, and friends and family of the other half, who has been living with him for the last twenty years. Some of us were there, both to pay our respects, and support those who grieved.
X and Y, who had both lost their respective spouses, had been a couple for the last twenty years, but we discovered, as the service proceeded, Y, the surviving partner, had been airbrushed out of his life. No mention was made of her existence! Readings and hymns had been chosen, as it transpired, by X’s family, with no consultation whatsoever.
Later we adjourned to Leander Club, where the war continued. Both camps gathered at opposite ends of the room overlooking a very fast flowing Thames, and the only neutral area was the table in the middle from whence the drinks were dispensed. Very few people crossed to the other side and the atmosphere was extremely uncomfortable.
How immensely sad, that the death of a father and a partner should cause this strife, and that they couldn’t come together to share their loss.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Sad, Ara. But life as we know it.
It is Nym, unfortunately but it seems so unnecessary really.
Araminta – There are times when the families of both X and Y should, if necessary, bury the hatchet if only to pay respects to the departed.
I was lucky. My own family accepted A Zangada, who had absolutely no relatives of her own, from day one as my wife, their daughter, sister, cousin and niece, and I will forever be grateful to all of them for that.
OZ
So tragic, Ara. Sorry to hear of your loss…I remember you saying you were going to a funeral.
I thought that feuds-at funerals were unique to my family, or perhaps to scouse get-togethers..(don’t ask!) Fighting over wills seems to be a paticular speciality of my lot. But my husband’s French lot add a whole new meaning to the genre. Now they really CAN do fighting at funerals, with serious vigueur…
I suppose Oz that although I know this happens, it is the first time I have seen it close up as it were. I think my family have been the same. Surely they should have been able to be a little generous here and think about how happy their father had been for the last twenty years of his life? I think your family were happy to welcome A Zangada for herself and for the happiness she brought to you.
Thank you Claire, it didn’t make a sad occasion any easier but blimey, you hear about these things and I must have been lucky not to have encountered it before. I don’t even want to think about disputes over the will.
Araminta – Oddly enough I was talking only this afternoon with two friends who have, via marriages, shall we say “complicated” family trees. The problems are both materialistic and horrendous and I also dread to think what the outcome of you friend’s passing will be. I fear it can only end in more tears. Never forget the old adage, “where there’s a will, there’s a cat-fight amongst the relatives.”
OZ
At least both sides turned up.
My father refused to come to my first wedding if my mother was going to be there. And, furthermore, refused to allow my brother to attend. I leave it to you to imagine what my response was…
Boadicea – As I wrote to Araminta, I’ve been very, very lucky. In a couple of years the Great Wolf and the Great She-wolf celebrate their diamond wedding anniversary, in addition to which I have to return to Blighty next month to surprise litter-cub at his “big fifty” birthday luncheon.
OZ
Morning Ara
You may have noticed that ‘more’ tags are being inserted in posts to ‘tidy up the front page’
I hope you don’t mind, I resized your pic for you (for the same reason.)
You’re welcome to delete this comment 🙂
I don’t agree, Soutie, old chap. I liked the photo filling the width of the page – I guess I’m allergic to white space!
I hope you haven’t reduced Low Wattage’s pictures.
I’m not sure we should interfere with our authors’ artistic arrangements?
Not at all, personally I prefer the larger pics, however I’d prefer them after the ‘more’ tag and not on the home page!
It’s obvious to Ara that if she prefers the larger pic it can be edited back.
I’d like to hear Ara’s input
Soutie
I can see where you’ve inserted the ‘more’ tag on my last blog, but it hasn’t shortened the text at all.
Araminta
We went to a funeral in Oxford this week. One of the sons had made the coffin for his mother. It was a wonderful thing in all sorts of colours with a gypsy caravan theme and lifted the whole proceedings somehow.
Jazz – that latest one (nervous on yachts) was me, not Soutie, and “oh, yes it has” – when it’s displayed on the home page or on your archive. Honest!
Please feel free remove my comment from your blog, it was only there to let you know what I’d done.
Bearsy
I think I’ve already moved the comment playing around with the ‘more’ tag. I have to say that this is a far better vehicle for blogs than MyT . It’s fairly complicated (like my HP 50g) but well worth the effort.
Funerals are still far better than weddings.
You don’t have to buy anyone a present, and you are guaranteed there will be one less person queueing at the bar. 🙂
Ferret, honestly!
Morning: my picture’s shrunk overnight! Hi Soutie, I take your point about my being a waste of space 🙂 But, I do actually prefer my pictures to be larger so I kept the visible text short to compensate by ruthlessly inserting the “more”tag very early in the post.
I have to say I agree with Bearsy on this one. I don’t mind pictures in the middle of the text or at the side, but it depends on the type of post.
Restored! 😆
I’m with Ferret on this one. Nothing like a good funeral.
Hee hee, Bearsy, it’s even larger than the original!
Furry and Jazz: yes, I know what you mean about funerals. Most of them turn out to be quite good do’s once the serious bit is over, but this was the exception. Pity, we could have done with a bit of light relief.
You choose your friends but you can’t choose your family, in situations like this it’s best to go with the flow and not try to be the UN and pull both sides together, you only end up getting kicked by both groups.
Off topic a bit. Mrs oldmovie and I are big fans of the Museum of Rowing and take the grandchildren along whenever we can, they love the ‘Wind in the Willows’.
OMG: yes, I think we all felt a bit the same, and just muttered a bit about it afterwards, but tried to maintain a strict neutrality.
I enjoy the Museum too. It’s always on the list when we have friends to stay and do the tourist bit.
Afternoon Ara
I’m happy with whatever decision is taken (I’m only trying to help)
I’m quite sure that I’ll continue to make the odd judgment that some disagree with, that’s life! Fortunately nothing that I do is irreversible and I can assure you that I only have the best interests of all members at heart.
😳
Hi Souts: no problem at all. 🙂