Archive for the ‘The Dark Side’ Category

Poetry of the foot

October 21, 2014 4 comments

Dryden wrote that about ‘dance’. And I know from bitter experience that the world is divided into dancers and the rest.

From my earliest youth my feet never really managed to get the messages from my brain or my spirit or wha’ever and imitate the silky moves I saw others executing so perfectly. Not ballroom, not square, not country, not jive! Not no how!

So many poetic occasions slipped from my grasp to end in flat-footed, prosaic words of apology.

I’ll bet there are some real Freds and Gingers amongst us too. Dammit!

Is Canterbury Christian?

October 15, 2014 6 comments

As I recall, Scripture prescribes prayer as the appropriate response to them that despitefully use us.

The Archbishop however reckons that air attacks alone are insufficient to deal with IS. And he wants religious leaders to big up and condemm them. Allegedly war is fine if it supports a higher, selfless ideal. Does he mean protecting the oil fields?

Brave Norway

October 3, 2014 13 comments
  • They demand to meet the king prior to the opening ceremony. Afterwards, there shall be a cocktail reception. Drinks shall be paid for by the Royal Palace or the local organizing committee.
  • Separate lanes should be created on all roads where IOC members will travel, which are not to be used by regular people or public transportation.
  • A welcome greeting from the local Olympic boss and the hotel manager should be presented in IOC members’ rooms, along with fruit and cakes of the season. (Seasonal fruit in Oslo in February is a challenge…)
  • The hotel bar at their hotel should extend its hours “extra late” and the minibars must stock Coke products.
  • The IOC president shall be welcomed ceremoniously on the runway when he arrives.
  • The IOC members should have separate entrances and exits to and from the airport.
  • During the opening and closing ceremonies a fully stocked bar shall be available. During competition days, wine and beer will do at the stadium lounge.
  • IOC members shall be greeted with a smile when arriving at their hotel.
  • Meeting rooms shall be kept at exactly 20 degrees Celsius at all times.
  • The hot food offered in the lounges at venues should be replaced at regular intervals, as IOC members might “risk” having to eat several meals at the same lounge during the Olympics.

Read more…

October poetry challenge

October 2, 2014 13 comments

This month cherished wordsmiths can let their imaginations run riot.

The topic is ‘If we were….’. No holds barred while you wrestle with it. Open season on flights of fancy and airbased castles.

Just one small (!) requirement: the pome must end with ‘tyrannosaurus rex’. (Rhymes nicely with lots of things!)

Closing time/date: the witching hour when tricks and treats are dust and November arrives. Spooky, huh?

Labour is over

September 23, 2014 28 comments

Milly kindly gave Auntie his speech so that we can all admire him in anticipation – not.

He is so totally screwed by the English Question that he’s doing a Bliar, fondly believing anybody buys it any more.

10 year plan? In his dreams.

Is it goodbye?

September 18, 2014 64 comments

18 September 2014

I don’t get it

September 16, 2014 56 comments

Sorry to burden you, cherished reader, with my ignorance but what’s been happening in Scotland since 2010? Summat must’ve, as one says, because at the May general election 2 million Scottish voters supported Labour, LibDem and Tory combined and only half a million plumped for SNP.

Did half of those North British souls only vote non-SNP because SNP had no chance of influencing Westminster affairs with 6 seats? If so, that sounds to me like chickens and eggs. So what’s changed to satisfy them that SNP can do the business for them?

If any undecided Scottish voter chances to join you in reading this, may I point out that the descent from the cliff-top is a rush for extreme sporting types but for the rest of us it’s painful and perhaps fatal. My advice: don’t jump.

Hole in one(‘s pocket)

September 13, 2014 4 comments

For JM:

I was watching the Tour Championship live on t’telly last evening – lulled almost to sleep by the drama – when wor Rory drove off at the 14th and appeared to miss the fairway to the right into some trees. There were the usual inane cries of ‘in the hole’ which always accompany players in America, but a red-shirted spectator pointed out that Rory’s pill had dropped from a tree into the gaping right-hand pocket of his shorts.

Rory shared the crowd’s amusement and recounted a similar happening at this year’s Scottish Championship, when his ball found its way up the trouser leg of a spectator ‘into the groin area’.

No, cherished reader, he did not attempt to play the ball in situ! Sorry to disappoint.


September 9, 2014 11 comments

Meanwhile, where it really matters – on the pitch – Ajmal has been banned for chucking. My Dad was rather ’round arm’ but never chucked the cherry. But what about the famous quicks who chuck their bouncers regularly?

Next, after St Kitts and Nevis…..

September 9, 2014 5 comments


As mentioned in a comment on the last post about Alba, Balmoral may just be a memory for One after Alba acquires the status of one of One’s realms. One might be accused of favouritism by the other 15 realms which One rules at arm’s length, if One spent every summer there. Embra can expect a visit every five years – so maybe it’s best if the Princess Royal moves in – to pacify the natives, as it were.

Alba will of course be required to install a vice-roy or governor to oversee state occasions when One is busy elsewhere. Happily one will be advised by One’s Privy Council on the appointment, which might well exclude Mr Salmond from consideration. However One could not possibly comment.


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