Archive for the ‘The Dark Side’ Category

For gazoopi

January 26, 2016 5 comments


Rear view mirror recommended.

Categories: Nature, The Dark Side

Brave new world

January 4, 2016 7 comments

I was dreaming – as you do. My usual acidity started to irritate me. So I clicked delete. An instant cure.

Categories: Techo stuff, The Dark Side

Nova Scotia

January 3, 2016 67 comments

Columbus always gets the credit/blame for finding the Americas, even though another sailor gave them his name. And it’s strange that clear evidence of Viking habitation of the continent is largely ignored. Even stranger that reports of the recent discovery of Roman artefacts in the same region also ignore the subsequent Viking activity – as if nothing else happened until 1492!

We all deplore attempts to re-write history, but the persistent failure to recognise key events is even worse.

No doubt learned colleagues can offer an explanation…..

Breaking Scotch News

December 20, 2015 20 comments

Help me out here. Is it the Stoon of Scoon, the Ston of Scon or just the Stone of Scone a la Sassenachs?

OK. That’s settled then. Except the laddie wot nicked it in 1950 says we the British may not presume it will be available for the next coronation.

And before you say it, I blame Alex Salmond too. Personally I would insert it widthways into an appropriate fundament but that wouldn’t allow it to be returned to Westminster as Mr Major said.

All patriotic suggestions welcome.

Vox populi

December 19, 2015 16 comments

Famous men (and women) and our fathers that begat us are never safe from censure as ideas evolve.

Back in the day (horrible expression) a scion of my college had his portrait re-titled ‘Haig the Butcher, 1 million dead’. The job was so professional that it was several weeks before it was spotted.

Now colonial torch-bearer Rhodes is the target; Oriel College has decided to disown his values.

‘And?’ you ask. Well, it’s a shame the facetwats can’t indulge their own prejudices without trying to rewrite history. Haig and Rhodes did important things, like them or not.

Holidays again

December 18, 2015 10 comments

Today lots of Danes start 2 weeks off – hardly denting their 6+ weeks p a entitlement. Yes, it’s true – paid leave, I mean. And since Fridays are ‘short days’, they go off today to their ‘summer’ cabins or to the sun.

And that’s what socialist gubmints, egged on by powerful unions want. Of course in the private sector employers don’t always play ball; but that leaves more than half of workers here encouraged to milk the system – so it grinds to a halt now until mid-January, with some people taking ‘days owed’ from 2015.

I laughed out loud today, reading that, per Forbes, Dk is the best country to start a business. Yeah right! And die of frustration in half an hour!



Spell check mess

December 16, 2015 33 comments

Proof readers were never fool-proof but editors now rely on blind electronics to check their texts.

So just yesterday I was treated to a corpse ‘lying prostate’. Well, it is in the dictionary. While the DT today advises that ‘the border force will compromise of…..’ thereby conflating two errors of syntax – one of which is getting ever more frequent, ‘comprise OF’ for ‘comprise’.

Do you get hot under the collar too?

Trump for the White House?

December 11, 2015 30 comments

There’s enough hatred and irrational behaviour over there to make it possible.

Hillary is a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination but the Bewigged Bigot could well buy his way to the show-down. Then what?

I’m afraid that if contemporary events conspire with his paranoia, he’ll lead the Americans to war with Islam.

A crazy thought? Persuade me it is.

Flushed with success – eventually

December 9, 2015 10 comments

No, seriously, it was a crisis! Suddenly our (cough) pipes of pan were blocked. In fact nothing would leave the bathroom at all. So I said to Mrs J, who was a girl guide before the Flood, ‘Doesn’t Arkela do it in the woods?’ If looks could kill.

Within a desperately long five hours (y’know how it is – when yer gotta go….), Monsewer Rasmussen drove up in his ‘normous tanker. In a trice he exposed our person-holes (very pc ‘ere, innit?), thrust his long black tube therein and sucked fit to bust, pointing out that we have a diameter problem; which was nothing we could fix without rebuilding the house. Apparently size is everything in his business. He could even smile, seeming happy with his lot.

So it all panned out well. I suppose we could have called the cops, but they’d have had nothing to go on.


December 3, 2015 14 comments

Drought is a root cause of the Syrian war. It is an absolute truth uttered by our future King. As Thucydides, one of the early Greek chroniclers knew, causes have to be categorised. Some are climatic, others cultural, others political. So it would be helpful if responsible commentators could discuss the matter with HRH. But that’s easier said than done, given the 15-page contract broadcasters are required to sign before any interview.

Backside says, there’s no clever dick like a royal clever dick. Absolutely.

(The Indy and the Grauniad both cover this shamelessly republican tale.)


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