Archive for the ‘The Dark Side’ Category

Don’t rock the boat

September 2, 2014 3 comments

A quarter of non-Scottish Brits ‘don’t know’ whether they approve of Scottish independence or not. Three-quarters of those with an opinion are against it. Ah yes, you ask, but why?

Well, here’s my short list of possibilities:

Mary Princess of Orange.jpg


* Scots should get out more

* Who is that fat git?

* Look at what happened to the Picts

* I like Billy Connolly and Rod Stewart

Princess Royal for Queen of Alba or forget it!


What say you, O cherished wise ones?

Eine Bildunterschrift, bitte

August 30, 2014 7 comments


“A miracle would really help just now”

The Pied Piper of Alba?

August 26, 2014 22 comments
The excellent Merriam Webster defines him as:

  1. a charismatic person who attracts followers
  2. one that offers strong but delusive enticement
  3. a leader who makes irresponsible promises

Need one say more?

A wee caption?

August 25, 2014 10 comments


Darling, it’s cold outside…..

Spectator sports

August 20, 2014 14 comments

Sorry to hog the home page again, but when one of Backside’s little niggles gets too persistent I have to put digit to key. This time it’s his disbelief that people pay good money to go and watch their favourite sports.

tour in yorkshire


Take golf. With luck you might witness as many as 50 actual strokes from a grandstand! Or 100 if you want to walk all day. And cycling. Whoosh, you missed the leaders, whooooosh you missed the peloton. Take my pic of the Tour in Slacky Bottom. City marathons. No whoosh, just the occasional sweaty jogger. But OK, they’re free.

Why do people do it? Who knows?

PS Cricket is different.

No, no, no

August 19, 2014 13 comments

pool car

When I said I’d take the pool car, I meant……..

Damned if they do and….

August 18, 2014 22 comments



So old Cliff is under suspicion for kiddie-fiddling. Has been for a year allegedly. And oh-so-responsible Auntie Beeb saw fit to announce a search of his London pad. Plod says they didn’t tip off the meeja. So old Cliff seizes the high ground…..for now. Load of rubbish, etc., etc.

But, but….imagine that Plod had taken no action following reports of abuse.

Would the baying pack be any happier?

A disarming event

August 15, 2014 16 comments

I’m all for equal opportunities at work but p-lease! A one-armed pilot? Pity about his prosthesis getting caught in the controls and falling off though, eh? But safety was not compromised, allegedly. Yeah, right.

What next, I wonder, to shock and entertain us?

High-rising terminals?

August 12, 2014 9 comments

Aha! You think they’re badly designed airports. Naeh. We’re talking language here, particularly among young people. I hear them a lot from my grandchildren when chatting together. Every commment sounds like a question, as if the speaker is on shaky ground or genuinely seeking an answer. “I saw Sarah today (?). She looked like paler than usual (?). Even though she’s like just back from Florida (?).” You must have heard the same (?).

Now none of us oldies enjoy this particular trend, do we? (genuine question) Well, I don’t.  Why? Because it sounds weird to my septuagenarian ears. And we probably think it started with Neighbours or Beverley Hills 90210 (antiquated TV soaps from Oz and LA) in which we were treated to the mores of far-flung tribes.

But soft! Apparently the uptalk fad has been amongst us Limeys for far longer. Was it North British, Northern Irish or wha’? Auntie Beeb has an opinion, as ever:

A song for Slacky Bottom

August 3, 2014 4 comments

(to the tune of ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman’)

All the trams are dirty yeller,
The smog is kinda grey.
They call us Tykes, we’ve got no bikes
‘Cos it’s hilly all the way.


Oh…..the……mums are at the bingo,
The dads are down the pub.
I’ll teach you lot the lingo
But! The Indians make the grub. Read more…


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 350 other followers