Archive for the ‘Terminally boring’ Category

The Chariot for Dummies

November 16, 2015 18 comments

A short crib sheet for students who have only recently joined, or who haven’t been paying attention.
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Freedom of movement

November 16, 2015 18 comments

It looks as if the EU’s Shengen days are numbered.  Queue of lorries at the Ukraine border with Poland

Thank goodness, I hear you say. Sanity returns.

But be careful what you wish for. I remember well the queues of stinking lorries at border crossings, waiting interminably for the cynical attention of the customs crews, who now and then threw a sickie or struck in the name of solidarity with something or other. Train drivers, air-traffic controllers, farmers…..

And if you were unlucky enough to be carrying goods requiring their attention, it was ‘back of the line for you, my lad, car or no car’. I have spent whole half-days between Belgium and France, Holland and Germany. Friday afternoons in summer were always particularly unpleasant among short-tempered drivers eager to get home and short-tempered customs officers reluctant to let them.

Ho hum.

Footie ditties

November 6, 2015 12 comments

Jurgen, Jurgen, don’t you stop   (to the tune of ‘Horsey, horsey’)

While your fans up on the Kop

Like your grinning when you’re winning

Jurgen Jurgen Jurgen Klopp


All the referees are mad    (to the tune of ‘Eviva espagna’ even though he’s Portuguese)

Says Jose Mourinho

Arsene Wenger’s just as bad

Says Jose Mourinho

They just love him in The Shed

Their Jose Mourinho

Even if he fires the Med

Their Jose Mourinho

I’m so special, I’m the one

Says Jose Mourinho

No one tells him when he’s done

That Jose Mourinho

Justin time?

October 20, 2015 3 comments

Don’t we miss some juicy politics, especially in stuffy old Canada? Ah the days of Pierre and Barbra, Margaret and the Stones.

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau in boxing training in 2012

And right on cue, enter another Trudeau, stage right. Handsome too, by all accounts. So let’s wait for the second act.

Department of meaningless surveys

October 16, 2015 16 comments

The Danes just lurv to find out how well they rate against other countries. The obsession evinces itself every time a commentator spews forth his/her analysis of Denmark’s teams’ performance: ‘Less then world class’, ‘One of Europe’s best’, etc.

And now there’s this:

Bet you didn’t realise that the US of A ranks 90th after Timor-Leste and before Morocco in economic globalisation! Nor did I. Overall the Yanks just beat Slovenia!

Good, ain’t it?


October 14, 2015 7 comments

Brit stores are charging 5p per plastic bag. Big deal.

People are too lazy to change their habits – not just in GB. They’ll try to nick a basket (until it’s tagged).

Over here in DK, the bags are min. 25p! And people still buy them! So what is the solution? Biodegradable bags maybe?

PS we keep a couple of strong cardboard boxes in the car and take them into the store. Easypeasy.


October 12, 2015 7 comments

Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton has celebrated his victory today at the Sochi Grand Prix by spraying Russian President Vladimir Putin with champagne on the winners’ podium

Only when I laugh

October 4, 2015 27 comments

It’s the pain, doctor.

Where exactly, Janus?

Just here (pointing to heart).

And when do you get it?

Whenever I watch English teams play.

So it’s home-sickness then, the call from home?

No. That’s a sweeter feeling, like hearing I’m to be a grandpa for the 10th time.

Congratulations then! But back to the pain?

Yes. What’s the cure?

Get rid of the sports channels. Watch Danish tv. You’ll feel no emotion whatever and sleep extremely well. That’s the true meaning of ‘hygge’ (pron. hew- ga)!

Select few

September 3, 2015 18 comments

Almost everyone’s gone. Maybe not to the moon (but who knows?). And parting is such…er….sorrow. Especially when y’all left without so much as a flounce, a strop or a fond farewell. Was it something we said or failed to say? Was it fickle fate that tempted you to pastures new? Was it the Big House or twatter or facebonk?

No answers unless you’re planning to stick around. Excuses are so yesterday.


The Wattage Two Day Cure for all Ailments

February 23, 2015 13 comments

It’s true, doesn’t matter if it is lumbago, rheumatism, arthritis, sciatica or a bout of the gout this is guaranteed to cure the lot in two days.

Firewood, cut it, split it, stack it on the woodpile.


There are three trees worth here, a Hickory, an Oak and a Maple, all hardwoods, probably totaling about three cords when cut and stacked, seasoned it should weigh about six tons, wet as it is it probably weighs twice that. The big stuff with the dark heartwood is the hickory. Bitternut is the variety that grows around here and it is very heavy wood, and one of the best in terms of heat content for firewood.

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