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Archive for the ‘Terminally boring’ Category

Stationery to Stationery

February 11, 2016 13 comments

According to a recent poll, stationery is the 41st thing that Britons love the most. In my book, I’d place it considerably higher. There really is not many better feelings than the smell of punched paper (or is that paper punched?) first thing in the morning.

What’s not to like about stationery? Pencils with tiny rubbers, shatterproof rulers and a compass to arc and map the page; just like being on a boat only without the waves or the sea legs.

Another reason for the love affair with merchandise office supplies is that much the same as office affairs, eventually it will reach the terminus. Stationery is mortal and for that we have the utmost sympathy and empathy.

The little sharpener loses its edge and can only cut random slices out of the pencil.

The rubber will erase itself and turn into disappearing ink.

Old files are given the medieval treatment at the teeth of the shredder

The Tipp-Ex bottle runs out of fluid and more urban correction methods are used.

Modernists write their missives on machines leaving foolscap and his papermates to fade away.

You put your left foot out

February 10, 2016 19 comments

sturgeon

In out, in out, shake it all about!

The prime of life

January 23, 2016 16 comments

Next month I’m due yet another birthday.

I’ve grown fond of 72, six dozen, two cubed times three cubed and the year when I was in the wild no man’s land of being 29.

But 73? Numerically boring, even repulsive. But, you say, I’ve clearly got too much time on my hands, if I even think about such trivia.

But anyway I’m planning to milk the max from my last 21 days (3 x 7) of 72. And happily it’s thawing too, so I can commune with nature again; with creatures who understand.

Vital news from Davos

January 20, 2016 13 comments

Those beloved world leaders advise that if you want to make it bigtime – or even have a job – in 2020 you’ll need to evince cognitive flexibility and (an old fave) emotional intelligence.

I’m so happy they can be lured by 5-star luxury to cast their annual pearls before us.

Aren’t you?

Absolutely

December 3, 2015 14 comments

Drought is a root cause of the Syrian war. It is an absolute truth uttered by our future King. As Thucydides, one of the early Greek chroniclers knew, causes have to be categorised. Some are climatic, others cultural, others political. So it would be helpful if responsible commentators could discuss the matter with HRH. But that’s easier said than done, given the 15-page contract broadcasters are required to sign before any interview.

Backside says, there’s no clever dick like a royal clever dick. Absolutely.

(The Indy and the Grauniad both cover this shamelessly republican tale.)

The Chariot for Dummies

November 16, 2015 18 comments

A short crib sheet for students who have only recently joined, or who haven’t been paying attention.
Read more…

Freedom of movement

November 16, 2015 18 comments

It looks as if the EU’s Shengen days are numbered.  Queue of lorries at the Ukraine border with Poland

Thank goodness, I hear you say. Sanity returns.

But be careful what you wish for. I remember well the queues of stinking lorries at border crossings, waiting interminably for the cynical attention of the customs crews, who now and then threw a sickie or struck in the name of solidarity with something or other. Train drivers, air-traffic controllers, farmers…..

And if you were unlucky enough to be carrying goods requiring their attention, it was ‘back of the line for you, my lad, car or no car’. I have spent whole half-days between Belgium and France, Holland and Germany. Friday afternoons in summer were always particularly unpleasant among short-tempered drivers eager to get home and short-tempered customs officers reluctant to let them.

Ho hum.

Footie ditties

November 6, 2015 12 comments

Jurgen, Jurgen, don’t you stop   (to the tune of ‘Horsey, horsey’)

While your fans up on the Kop

Like your grinning when you’re winning

Jurgen Jurgen Jurgen Klopp

and

All the referees are mad    (to the tune of ‘Eviva espagna’ even though he’s Portuguese)

Says Jose Mourinho

Arsene Wenger’s just as bad

Says Jose Mourinho

They just love him in The Shed

Their Jose Mourinho

Even if he fires the Med

Their Jose Mourinho

I’m so special, I’m the one

Says Jose Mourinho

No one tells him when he’s done

That Jose Mourinho

Justin time?

October 20, 2015 3 comments

Don’t we miss some juicy politics, especially in stuffy old Canada? Ah the days of Pierre and Barbra, Margaret and the Stones.

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau in boxing training in 2012

And right on cue, enter another Trudeau, stage right. Handsome too, by all accounts. So let’s wait for the second act.

Department of meaningless surveys

October 16, 2015 16 comments

The Danes just lurv to find out how well they rate against other countries. The obsession evinces itself every time a commentator spews forth his/her analysis of Denmark’s teams’ performance: ‘Less then world class’, ‘One of Europe’s best’, etc.

And now there’s this:

http://globalization.kof.ethz.ch/media/filer_public/2015/03/04/rankings_2015.pdf

Bet you didn’t realise that the US of A ranks 90th after Timor-Leste and before Morocco in economic globalisation! Nor did I. Overall the Yanks just beat Slovenia!

Good, ain’t it?

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