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Archive for the ‘Terminally boring’ Category

Men in white coats

July 3, 2014 16 comments

With their being no National Service anymore I have no experience of the military. While I could have enlisted voluntarily I preferred to be a civilian. This doesn’t mean I can’t daydream. And the best place to do this is in the dentist’s chair.

I haven’t been to the dentist for over a year, missing out on two regular six month check-ups. It’s not fear of Dr. Christian Szell that kept me away it was his frontline troops I couldn’t handle; the Checkpoint Charlie receptionists are a dour-faced lot. Read more…

A few techo ramblings

July 2, 2014 12 comments

You may have noticed that recent changes made by WordPress (they make changes pretty regularly) have resulted in the loss of the “Quote” facility and of the individual serial numbers for comments.   Rather a shame, but I have checked everything that can be checked and there’s no way to bring them back, as far as I can see.

They’ve also mucked around with the comment box – it still works as it always did, but the text that used to remind you that you can’t comment unless you’re logged on is not there any more.   You do still have to be logged in though.   If you try to comment when you’re not logged in, nothing will happen when you click on the “Post” button.   Nothing, nada, zilch.   You’ll just be left hanging – not a friendly outcome, but there’s nowt I can do about it. :-(

Finally, for about the hundredth time, please can certain Charioteers remember that “it’s” (with an apostrophe) always means “it is” (or “it has”) and is never, ever the possessive (genitive, belonging) case.   If you need the possessive, as in “the cat licked its paw”, leave the apostrophe out.   Yes, it’s the opposite of what we do with all other words, but that’s English for you.

Lastly, totally off track, how about our young Canberran, Nick Kyrgios?   What a guy!   Pronounced “Kir-ee-os”, in case you were wondering; the “g” is silent. 

No bite

June 25, 2014 16 comments

What do you call a squad of footballers who can’t win/hold/pass the ball, shoot, take corners, free kicks or penalties or show any remorse?

England!

(At least Suarez gets his teeth into the job.)

Overrated: Google overhead view

June 6, 2014 12 comments

Bypassing all its criticisms- invasion of privacy issues, cursor navigational problems, serial killings as they occur- Google street view is a fine application. The ability to teleport to anywhere in the world is Star Trek at your fingertips. Beam me up, I mean, beam me down to Barbados, Scotty.

Where Google comes down to earth is with its overhead view option. This satellite imagery, used often by television news stations, is boring. There’s nothing interesting about the top of something. You won’t hear an actress or a model say “ oh my best feature is the plan view of my head.” Read more…

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Patriotic caption?

June 2, 2014 4 comments

UK Prime Minister David Cameron with England football coach Roy Hodgson

Who’s next with the gravy-boat?

May 31, 2014 7 comments

Enough of Captain ‘Tubby’ Barosso already, so step forward the likely contenders for Europresident:

Lady first: Fraülein Keller, 32, very very green, hates bankers

Greens - Ska Keller, file pic

Read more…

A moving picture

January 27, 2014 7 comments

Migration map2

Does this tell you anything startling about human behaviour?

The Grauniad is banging on about it (http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jan/27/great-migration-south-private-sector-jobs-london) but I wonder if you’d find any different ‘dynamic’ (trendy word) in the hinterland of any European or American capital?

People get on their Tebbit bikes to get jobs and leave for gentler environments when they can afford it.

On a personal note, please notice that Londoners prefer Coventry! Don’t ask.

Copacabana Dreams

January 21, 2014 7 comments

The left footers really should know better. Don’t they read the good book? Graven images aren’t allowed. God is not happy. After trying to hold his temper and count to, I don’t know, a virgintillion and one his patience ran out and he rained down on the Rio statue of Christ the Redeemer some very, very frightening tautological thunderbolts and lightning.

Aiming this year to travel more, Brazil is one of the countries on my goto list. My goal is not to help fix the statue or swim in the Amazon river or look at the rock paintings in the Parque Nacional da Serra da Capivara. Would you believe I’m not even going there to watch the skimpily clad carnival girls rocococoing in the flesh. My mission is to make the natives better at football. Coming from where I come from I’m sure my ministry will be helpful in this godforsaken land of no-hopers. After all, my five-a-side team have won their last few matches.

Gin and Fat.

January 21, 2014 9 comments

Well this started out as a comment on Sipu’s recent post, then as usual it got so long and convoluted I decided it better belonged here.

A number of unforeseen consequences of Whitney’s cotton gin followed rapidly after its wider application.  The rapid growth in cotton fibre production in the southern states was accompanied by a huge supply of cottonseed, for every bale of cotton (480 lbs) an astonishing 700 pounds of cottonseed were produced, most of it was dumped in the nearest river (gins were often water powered) or simply left on the ground to rot.

Read more…

War and Gin

January 19, 2014 24 comments

Had my father been alive, this month would have seen him celebrate his 100th birthday. Of course 1914 is better remembered for being the year that The Great War commenced.

It was an earlier great war, what Southern States call, ‘The War of Northern Agression’ aka the American Civil War, that saw the birth of my grandfather, in November 1862; exactly one year before President Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.

The Napoleonic Wars had not yet commenced when my great grandfather was born 220 years ago, in February 1794. However, they were well under way when, at the age of 16 he went off to fight with Wellington against the Corsican upstart. Much to his chagrin, my ancestor was wounded at the battle of Quatre Bras, which took place two days before Waterloo and thus was unable to take part in that more famous battle. Read more…

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