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Archive for the ‘Terminally boring’ Category

Don’t rock the boat

September 2, 2014 8 comments

A quarter of non-Scottish Brits ‘don’t know’ whether they approve of Scottish independence or not. Three-quarters of those with an opinion are against it. Ah yes, you ask, but why?

Well, here’s my short list of possibilities:

Mary Princess of Orange.jpg

 

* Scots should get out more

* Who is that fat git?

* Look at what happened to the Picts

* I like Billy Connolly and Rod Stewart

Princess Royal for Queen of Alba or forget it!

 

What say you, O cherished wise ones?

A club too big for its boots

August 27, 2014 9 comments

A couple of years ago Sir Alex realised the game was up. He was stuck with an overpaid, undertalented bunch of never-quite-weres. Best to get out while his own rep was intact. But he was so good at his own PR that the Mancunian back-office never even dreamed a dour grafter like David couldn’t just take over and continue the Reds’ ride to glory.

That was the first mistake.

Next up, the campaign to show that it was all David’s fault. All they neeeded now was a fabled disciplinarian like Louis to gee up the squad and everything in the garden would be rosy Red again.

That was the second mistake.

And finally let’s spend an astronomical 100 million bucks on a new player! He’s bound to turn the bus round.

Or is he the third mistake? Will Real’s divine Angel find himself in purgatory? The Reds’ old boys, now airing their doubtful wisdom around the meeja, will be the first to tell him he’ll fail. Watch the American owners get out from under before you can say Bobby Charlton.

 

 

The Pied Piper of Alba?

August 26, 2014 22 comments
The excellent Merriam Webster defines him as:

  1. a charismatic person who attracts followers
  2. one that offers strong but delusive enticement
  3. a leader who makes irresponsible promises

Need one say more?

A wee caption?

August 25, 2014 10 comments

salmond

Darling, it’s cold outside…..

AC/DC Live Wire

August 13, 2014 7 comments

Prince’s 1999 song was rarely played on December 31st 1998 yet a year later was used extensively on various radio stations/disco 2000s to welcome in the millennium. We partied 364 days and whatever minute it was too late. One of these anomalies we have in life. I didn’t party. I was Doctor Whoming behind the sofa, with my whimpering K9, awaiting Armageddon. Something wicked this way comes.

The millennium bug was the end of days. Looking back now I don’t know why I was so worried. I did not possess a computer at the time (Y2K). The worst that could have happened to me would be that the toaster wouldn’t work. And this would have nothing to do with broadband issues or other related online jargon. The trouble would be dodgy wiring in the plug; when you’ve chubby fingers it’s hard to put that little wire in the right place; Major Tom to earth etc. Still, like the glorious Gaynor, I survived.

Men in white coats

July 3, 2014 16 comments

With their being no National Service anymore I have no experience of the military. While I could have enlisted voluntarily I preferred to be a civilian. This doesn’t mean I can’t daydream. And the best place to do this is in the dentist’s chair.

I haven’t been to the dentist for over a year, missing out on two regular six month check-ups. It’s not fear of Dr. Christian Szell that kept me away it was his frontline troops I couldn’t handle; the Checkpoint Charlie receptionists are a dour-faced lot. Read more…

A few techo ramblings

July 2, 2014 12 comments

You may have noticed that recent changes made by WordPress (they make changes pretty regularly) have resulted in the loss of the “Quote” facility and of the individual serial numbers for comments.   Rather a shame, but I have checked everything that can be checked and there’s no way to bring them back, as far as I can see.

They’ve also mucked around with the comment box – it still works as it always did, but the text that used to remind you that you can’t comment unless you’re logged on is not there any more.   You do still have to be logged in though.   If you try to comment when you’re not logged in, nothing will happen when you click on the “Post” button.   Nothing, nada, zilch.   You’ll just be left hanging – not a friendly outcome, but there’s nowt I can do about it. :-(

Finally, for about the hundredth time, please can certain Charioteers remember that “it’s” (with an apostrophe) always means “it is” (or “it has”) and is never, ever the possessive (genitive, belonging) case.   If you need the possessive, as in “the cat licked its paw”, leave the apostrophe out.   Yes, it’s the opposite of what we do with all other words, but that’s English for you.

Lastly, totally off track, how about our young Canberran, Nick Kyrgios?   What a guy!   Pronounced “Kir-ee-os”, in case you were wondering; the “g” is silent. 

No bite

June 25, 2014 16 comments

What do you call a squad of footballers who can’t win/hold/pass the ball, shoot, take corners, free kicks or penalties or show any remorse?

England!

(At least Suarez gets his teeth into the job.)

Overrated: Google overhead view

June 6, 2014 12 comments

Bypassing all its criticisms- invasion of privacy issues, cursor navigational problems, serial killings as they occur- Google street view is a fine application. The ability to teleport to anywhere in the world is Star Trek at your fingertips. Beam me up, I mean, beam me down to Barbados, Scotty.

Where Google comes down to earth is with its overhead view option. This satellite imagery, used often by television news stations, is boring. There’s nothing interesting about the top of something. You won’t hear an actress or a model say “ oh my best feature is the plan view of my head.” Read more…

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Patriotic caption?

June 2, 2014 4 comments

UK Prime Minister David Cameron with England football coach Roy Hodgson

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