A friend of ours who works for a tow truck company decided to fill his time waiting for an accident to happen by sending his pals updates on traffic and other important traffic info. By other important info I mean the really important stuff, you know? Like where the speed cameras and road blocks are.
He also considers himself a bit of a comedian, here’s a sample from recent broadcasts… Read more…
We are blessed with a thalassogen on this good Earth
that knows not our rules, or has forgot ‘em
when most liquids get hot they rise to the top
when they cool they sink fast to the bottom
The media, even here in socialist Vikingland, are banging on about the cost of Maggie’s funeral - twenty new pence a head allegedly. So I thought I’d set the record straight, just to comfort the serried ranks of soon-to-be-late prime ministers who might feel obliged to decline the same honour in the interests of national thrift. Read more…
This stared out as a comment on Christopher’s post about his recent visit to La Belle Province, but it got so long and convoluted I decided not to clutter the comments there with its length.
I worked in Canada from mid 1969 to late 1978 living first in Ottawa then nearby across the Ottawa River in the Province of Quebec. I worked for a subsidiary of Bell Canada (the telephone company) and my wife worked, first in the public service (Department of Finance) then on Parliament Hill for a couple of MP’s.
There had been festering discontent in Quebec regarding separation for years, probably ever since Confederation (1867) even the choice of Ottawa as the capital (1857) was flavored by the divide and was one of those many English compromises that almost worked. Choosing Toronto (the largest and a very English city) would have put the capital too close to the US border and memories of “Manifest Destiny” and the unpleasantness of 1812 were still a factor, choosing Montreal would seem to be giving control to the French, also remembered for their recent aggression in Europe, so Queen Victoria herself announced that the capital would henceforth be Ottawa (formerly Bytown, named after Colonel John By who built the Rideau canal system as a defense against the US in 1812). Ottawa was conveniently located almost exactly halfway between Toronto and Montreal and as a wag of the day reported was “a slumbering sub-arctic lumber village”.
Daisy dear, they’re hiding from that bull who’s obviously got designs on one of us and oo-ooh……………! Mooove over, it’s me!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? Forgetting that, if I make the world record high jump in my bedroom and nobody’s around to record it, would anybody believe it?
Well I did.
Placing a pole next to the mattress on the bed and using a small run-up- just like those fancy penalty kick takers in football that do the dink shot- I cleared 2.5m. This is a new world record according to the Guinness book of world records. Now I’m not going to boast and say I did it on my first go. It took many attempts and lots of hard work but I got there in the end. Trouble is the constant battering of the mattress left it in a helluva state. My wife will take one look at it and wonder what I’ve been up to. I could be for the high jump.
“One’s valet always gets a couple of flunkies to carry One’s bags – so what do you think this trolley affair is used for?”
It was early in the fifth century, although nobody seemed too sure about exactly how early, when Dionysius Exiguus (Dennis the Short perhaps? Let’s call him Den. for short) was asked by his boss Pope John 1 to calculate the date of Easter for the next few years because the previous calculation only went as far as about 500 when the World was expected to end. (some of this may sound vaguely familiar)
A quick gander at my trusty H. Samuel Everight Watch (copyright Radio Luxemburg, 1960) tells me that there are only (6) SIX days left to enter the 35th Photo Competition, the theme and post to which you should reference your entry is here.
For what I trust will be a limited time only the VERY next entry (and only that one) will also have the added honour of being the FIRST.
Thank you for your attention.
Horace Batchelor. Keynsham, (that’s K- E -Y- N- S- H- A- M), Bristol.