West, West, you’re the best
I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore, is the rallying cry of a group of Conservative Eurosceptics. An emergency meeting of Tory party heavyweights have declared that the European Union is past its sell-by date. The sprouting of measures from Brussels that infringe on national sovereignty has grown too far, too fast and too furious for the right-wingers in this country. We should close our eyes and go West, say the Atlanticists. America and not Europe is where it is at.
In a startling pamphlet issued by the separatist group, “Withering Europe, a non-starter” (WEANS), they have proposed various ways of becoming closer to the United States of America. Post codes are to be replaced by the zingier method of posting known as ZIP codes. The advantages of this change are bountiful. Britons would take great delight in being asked by cold callers “What is your ZIP?”.
“She asked about my ZIP, heh, heh.”
In ZIP’s there are no letters to be remembered, only numbers, which makes it easier for this cell phone generation to take in. ZIP is faster to say than post code. And the struggling post code lottery that exists in this country would be replaced by the more snazzier titled ZIP lottery. Having a matching ZIP as someone else would be a novelty that would never wear off. Think about it. Even in ten years time, “We’ve got the same ZIP” is a good line.
Right, we should definitely look to the West as all good things are on the left hand side of the map. The land of the Free is home to Giant Redwoods and is there anything in this world better than a Hershey Bar? However, too many Hershey Bars can give you trouble fastening your zip.