Homes under the Hammer
The Conservative Chancellor of the coalition, George Osborne, has delighted the Tory Party faithful by ruling out wealth and mansion taxes. “This Party of home ownership will have no truck with it” he said. High value property owners that have never set foot in a truck breathed a sigh of relief. Mr Osborne is in charge of the purse strings of this country and he can play any melody he wants with them. This time it’s music to the ears of the wealthy.
Into the chamber enters the spectral figure that is the government’s Business Secretary, Vince Cable. This latter-day Robin Hood is promoting a petition for a fairer tax system. “I want a new ‘mansion tax’ on the most valuable properties – we propose 1% of the value of over £2million. This will be paid by the wealthiest 0.16% of property owners. If you agree, add your name to our campaign now.” This juggernaut statement struck a discord with the better off while those in the poor seats clapped approvingly.
While this high octane political argument continues to have lots of mileage in it there is no denying the fact that The Treasury does need new funds in its coffers. Trouble is, there doesn’t seem to be anything left to tax. Or is there? Some industries have short-changed the exchequer for too long and that needs to be rectified. Firstly, I would go after Fastener makers with their little products -staples, screws, nails, rivets and tacks- and tax them more. This would be payback for the damage their errant nails do to the tyres of innocent automobiles.
We should also take a step back in time because sometimes the answer to all our problems lies in history. I’m talking glass. Right from the bottom of my glass. Whatever was wrong with the Window Tax, anyway? This form of taxation should be re-introduced. This is a fairer system than the one proposed by Mr Cable. The more windows you have, the more tax you pay. What do windows make…?
The Window Tax will force corporations to transform their office buildings from the sterile contemporary look to more aesthetically pleasing architecture. The glass towers of the modern age should come smashing down to be replaced by the highly ornamented old style of the likes of Dutch Baroque. This will give a window of opportunity for people in glass houses to throw bricks in it.