Everybody I know (except my sister who is only just starting to use the remote for her telly) has a mobile thingy somewhere about their person. And the younger they are, the more complex their devices. Something to do with apps and uploads - whatever they may be. So as I was noticing yet another Rolex ad on t’telly the other day, I thought, “Why do people bother? ‘Cos I don’t.” OK, I’ll modify that. I realise that fashion victims have to display bejewelled time-pieces as a mark of their wealth/coolness/superiority, but normal people really don’t need one, do they, even if they work at two hundred fathoms? Just nudge your ikit and check the time in every time-zone imaginable. And the same goes of course for alarm clocks, grandfather clocks and Big Ben himself. Surplus to requirements, redundant, as useful as a chocolate teapot, if Christopher will allow me.