I want to put it on record that I never had an affair with Audrey Hepburn (or even David Bowie). No, I have no idea where the rumours came from (if anywhere) but this denial is a necessary precursor to any sudden outburst of publicity about my private life. I might as well admit to having fancied Audrey something rotten. David Bowie on the other hand struck me (no, M’lud, not literally) as a man made for Jagger’s diverse attentions.
That’s cleared up then. Phew!